Moments: Scary Things Happen on Halloween
by ObsessiveDevil
Summary: At the anual Halloween Central Ball, Roy is forced into a costume, and then promptly forced back out of it. Because Ed is a firm believer that scary things happen on Halloween. EdRoy. Uke!Roy. Handcuffs and police uniforms... 1st in the Things series.


**Scary Things Happen on Halloween**

**RoyEd Fan Fiction**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Gift Fic for xCastielsGirlx**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, I am not making any money from this.**

Bradley had done it again. He'd found another way to make his life hell. It wasn't enough that he was forced to bow to a man he wanted the position of so badly. It wasn't enough he'd managed to force him to baby-sit some kid for almost six years now. It wasn't enough that he'd had to jump through hoops to get noticed and was still only a general. No, Bradley just had to go and find another way to embarrass him. Twice fold.

The Halloween Central Command Ball for State Soldiers and Their Families. Or, in other words, a way to show off pretty costumes and prettier wives. Of which Roy had neither.

He scanned the hall again, unable to spot anyone from his team. Bradley, dressed in a dress shirt and black dress shoes, looked no different from any other time they had been in the presence of the fuehrer out of uniform, but he was still easily the scariest there. He was talking to his secretary, who was wearing all white in a pathetic attempt of looking like a ghost. He supposed the two of them had to keep a professional air about them when greeting the soldiers and their wives and children.

One child ran past him in an extravagant princess dress, followed by her mother with a crown on her head. The queen and her princess daughter?

"Aren't they darling?" And enter the king. Roy turned to his best friend, who in turn was watching his wife chase Elysia around the room. Both Elysia and Gracia were sporting extravagant dresses and Hughes himself wore a fake crown on his head, with his camera at the ready. The man turned to him with a frown on his face. "And where's your costume Mustang?"

Roy shook his head.

"No family anyway. I don't want to go in there."

He'd been standing outside the hall entrance, watching everyone go in for a long time. Clad in his dress uniform he actually felt more out of place then he would in a costume. But he didn't have a costume. Hughes shook his head forcefully.

"The rest of your team is already in there." He said.

"Not true." Roy hadn't seen any of them go in, so he doubted all of them were.

"Right. Ed and Al aren't here yet. Riza isn't either. But they will be. I think the rest are arriving at some point." Hughes gave him a once over. "I figured you'd get all antsy, so I asked Riza to bring a costume for you."

A wince. He couldn't refuse Riza giving him a costume. She'd shoot him in the knee if he refused.

"Okay." He relented. "But I am staying out here until she arrives."

Hughes shrugged, following his wife and kid inside, and Roy watched silently as more and more people arrived. Hughes' case file worker Sheska said a polite hello as she walked past in a devil costume. Maria Ross and Denny Brosch walked by together, Maria as a ninja and Denny as a pirate.

Then, inevitably before the rest of the team had shown up, so they might see him with a little of his dignity remaining, Riza arrived, carrying a bag with her, and looking for all the world like herself. Just slightly more kick-ass, if that were possible.

"What are you supposed to be?" He asked on sight of her, giving her a searching look. She placed the bag in his arms, and Roy noticed her other hand occupied to the lead of Black Hayate, who had little brown gloves on his paws. He raised his eyebrows at the dog.

"Vampire Hunter. And Hayate is a werewolf."

He took another look at her. Noticing the wooden cross around her neck, and wooden stakes hanging from her chunky belt. Her gun was holstered, but there, and complimented her costume so it didn't look suspicious. He nodded at her approvingly.

"And what am I?"

"Change and find out sir."

He wondered if he had just imagined the slight teasing tone in her voice as he made his way to a bathroom and changed out of his clothes, pulling on the ones she had brought for him. They fit perfectly of course, for Riza had been in charge of it, and though the material looked as if it might itch like mad, they were surprisingly comfortable. He walked out of the stall and looked at himself in the full length mirror on the bathroom wall, wincing slightly at what he saw.

Dark red training shoes. Tight black jeans with sequins stitched in to the pockets. A belt with fake, bright feathers hanging from it. A flowing white shirt and dark red waist coat. He looked like something out of the circus. He just needed face paint to set it off.

Sighing, he slicked his hair back and held it in place with a black top hat, which also had bright feathers sticking up from the rim. Just what exactly was he supposed to be? Other than blinding?

Walking back out he found Riza waiting for him outside. She held him still and attached something to the side of his face, near his left eye.

"What was that?"

"A jewel for your face. It completes the outfit."

Roy gaped at her.

"You put a _jewel_ on my _face_?"

A nod was all he received before he was patted on the back rather harshly.

"Nice effort Chief!"

Turning round Roy found himself face to face with Havoc, dressed as a cowboy with a fag hanging from his lips, Fuery looking increasing awkward in a white bed sheet and a fake bow and arrow, Breda, who had spiked his hair up and found some face paint to make himself out to be a clown, and Fallman, who was actually a little frightening, looking like a zombie.

At least one of them had made an effort and realised the true purpose of Halloween.

He shrugged in response, and followed his team inside. Feeling stupid arriving with his subordinates and not some sexy looking girl. Not that Riza wasn't a sexy looking girl.

Upon entering he scanned the room. Soldiers with their families. Hughes taking pictures left, right and centre. Major Alex Louis Armstrong, sparkling away, with Lieutenant General Olivier Mira Armstrong dressed in a yellow and blue… dress. Roy outright gaped and she and her little sister Catherine made the spitting image of Snow White and Cinderella.

He never knew Olivier could be feminine, though he'd never tell her he'd thought as much. He valued his life too much.

A man, or perhaps that was a woman, with very spiky green hair, looked like they'd come as a palm tree, of all things. He was standing with a young boy who looked like Frankenstein, and kudos to him, his costume was good. One of his arms, and one of his legs (and Roy dimly registered they were the same ones that Fullmetal was missing) were a different colour to the rest of his body. A man who looked suspiciously like scar, mad-scientist version, was talking to a sexy nurse with long black hair and short black gloves. And a small fat man dressed in a pumpkin suit.

A little off to the side a robot version of Archer was keeping an eye on the trio, whilst engaging a kimblee who looked the same as ever in conversation.

"What did you come as?" Roy heard Archer say.

"A lawyer."

After snorting amusedly at the comment, Roy let his eyes wonder again. Trying to find Fullmetal and his brother. Usually the task wouldn't be hard, you just had to look out for a seven foot tall suit of armour, but with all the costumes around it was a little harder. Eventually his eyes fell on a blonde girl wearing a pink dress and fairy wings, talking to a dark haired woman carrying what looked like a very convincing axe. Sure enough, Ed and Al were both cowering at the sight of Izumi Curtis behind an old lady in khaki trousers and cap. Al was carrying a toy horse and Ed…

Roy wondered if it was legal to think of his almost 18 year old subordinate as ridiculously attractive in police uniform. England style. White shirt, flap-cap hat, holstered gun and all. The dress uniform fit him perfectly, his hair in a low ponytail and looking for all the world like he'd rather be anywhere but at the party, which was exactly how Roy felt. He ducked away from his group and went over to join them.

"Nice costume." he whispered when he made it there, and watched as Ed smirked.

"Yours too Colonel Flounce."

"Ha ha." Roy rolled his eyes. "I was forced in to this by Hawkeye. Your excuse Fullmetal?"

Ed shrugged.

"I think I look good in this uniform. It's cool." He grinned. "And I get handcuffs."

He pulled out metal rings from his belt and held them up for Roy to see, making to older man gulp. He followed their progress from belt to his eyelevel and back to the belt, and found it hard to rip his gaze away from that area again. He bit his lip.

"Thinking about arresting someone?"

"If it gets me and the lucky sod out of this damned dance then I might just think about it."

Roy laughed, jokingly putting his hands out for the cuffs, and found himself surprised when cold metal hit his wrists. He blinked at them dumbly, hands still held up in disbelief. Ed was looking at him with that challenging look, like daring him to back out. Roy gulped, but took a deep breath.

"Alright officer, what's the charge?"

Ed seemed to seriously consider the question.

"Cruelty to children."

Roy winced.

"Harsh Ed."

"Whatever." The boy lost his professional façade as he escorted Roy from the room, mindless of Riza watching their every move and Hughes taking snaps. So it was slightly embarrassing to be cuffed and removed from the room, but it got him out of there, and at least no one was kicking and screaming.

Once outside Ed turned to look at him, searching in his pockets for the key.

"Once I've released you we'll make our hasty prison break."

Roy snorted.

"Sounds like a plan."

Except their was one tiny flaw in the plan. Ed had misplaced the key.

"Urm…"

Roy's eyes widened.

"Oh no. No Urms Ed. Unlock these things. They're cold and this is just a joke so-"

"Don't freak out Colonel." Ed rose an eyebrow challengingly and Roy composed himself, unwilling to act like a kid in front of his childish subordinate. "I just left the key at my place. Just walk back with me and I'll unlock them there. Heck, this gives us a better excuse than before for leaving that damned thing." He jerked his thumb at the entrance to the hall and Roy had to concede that the logic was good.

He followed the boy, trying to not making it obvious he was cuffed, out of Central command and in to the heart of the city. They bypassed a few Halloween trick or treat fiends, and the night air was cold, making Roy wish he had a jacket and not some flouncing white shirt that did absolutely nothing against the wind. They stopped outside a flat complex and then made their way inside, up three flights of stairs and in through a black door.

"Ed, you just alchemically unlocked your door." Roy said as he walked into the small box-flat. He watched the boy shrug.

"Yeah, I never take keys with me."

Roy rolled his eyes.

"I meant… you could have just alchemically unlocked these." he held up his shackles and shook them in the boys face. Ed adopted a sheepish look.

"I guess I could have." He replied evenly. "But then we wouldn't have found ourselves away from the party."

Roy refrained from pointing out that he would be home instead, enjoying a glass of whiskey.

"What are you up to? Will you unlock these already?"

"Do they make you nervous?"

Roy paused at the question. Yes, of course they made him nervous. Who wouldn't be nervous at the thought of being bound and chained? The real question was why did Ed care if they made him nervous? He shook his head slowly, a blatant lie, and watched as Ed crossed the room to stand in front of him. A little shorter than him, but a little more muscular and with a metal arm and leg he could easily overpower Roy, especially if Roy was handicapped as he was.

"Edwa-"

He was unable to complete his utterance as Ed reached up, forcefully pulling him down to his level and crashing their lips together a little awkwardly. Roy found his chained hands pinned between their chests and his legs locked as Ed pushed him backwards, trapping him between the Fullmetal body and the wall. He felt a wet tongue slid over his lips but refused to open his mouth. Ed pulled away.

"C'mon Colonel." He all but panted, unwittingly making the man flush slightly. What on Earth had gotten in to the boy? He tried to yank free, but the combination of a heavy teenage body and no usable hands made it much more difficult. He turned his head as Ed went in again.

"By the Gate Fullmetal, have you been drinking or something?"

Ed frowned. He could feel it against his neck, where the boy had latched on to when denied his lips.

"No." His metal hand kept him pinned against the wall, and Roy begrudgingly admitted it was more than enough to keep him in place. The other hand went lower, making Roy snap his knees together and try and find something mundane and stupid to focus on. "C'mon Roy. It's Halloween, scary stuff is supposed to happen tonight. Fuck your jeans are tight."

And Ed would know, as he was trying valiantly to get his hand in them.

Roy fought hard to find control of his voice again. Pointedly ignoring whatever Ed thought he was _doing_ with his flesh hand. His chained wrists were pathetically trapped in Ed's metal fingers and if he kicked he didn't know if he'd hurt the boy. Which, despite everything, we didn't really want.

"This… isn't scary."

Ed's hand stopped moving, and was suddenly on his jaw, forcing him to look at the blonde. It was strange, being manipulated so easily by a younger, smaller person.

"You don't think it's scary?"

Roy shook his head, lying again. Ed tugged at his feathered belt, pulling it out of the jean loops and dropping to the floor. A few skilled flicks of his wrist later and his jeans were pooled at his ankles, leaving him pinned to the wall in his underwear and flowing shirt and hat, face flushed and looking anywhere but at Ed.

His hat was pulled from his hair, messing it up as that too was discarded.

"Are you turned on by this?"

Roy squirmed slightly under the younger boys touch. He shook his head, again, lying. Ed let go of his bound hands but all he managed to get them to do was use Ed as support to keep himself up as Ed went to work touching him through his underwear.

"You bastard. You planned this from the start, didn't you? You little pervert." He insulted on instinct. A defence mechanism that he was sure Fullmetal would see through straight away. This was so wrong. How would he ever be able to face himself in the mirror knowing he'd let his not-even-legal subordinate get him off like this?

Ed grinned at him, though Mustang was making a point not to look at the boy.

"What am I supposed to do when you stroll in there, dressed as a fucking phoenix, burning bright with a fucking _jewel_ on your face." He took a deep breath. "I'm a horny seventeen year old and you look good enough to _eat_ so…"

He was a phoenix huh? Trust Fullmetal to know exactly what Riza had made him dress up as. He had no doubt no one else would get it, but Riza had an artistic flare and Ed's level of intelligence beat everyone else's in to submission, so it was inevitable that Fullmetal alone would know.

He gripped on to Ed's shoulders, stretching his hands as far as they could go. His legs also stretched subconsciously as Ed slipped his hand inside his boxers, and he opened his mouth in a sort of silent sob.

"F-Fine!" He yelled when he felt the boys hand wrap around him. "But just… Gods Ed…" The pressure was already building up inside him, making it practically unbearable, and making his knees shake dangerously. If he was going to let Ed do this, he couldn't do it standing. He'd make a fool out of himself by not being able to keep up, and he really didn't need the jokes about stamina.

He felt the boys metal arm wrap around his shoulders and he was pulled close.

- X -

Lying in bed later, hands still cuffed uncomfortably, but finding he didn't mind it so much as he leant his head back down against a metal shoulder, he wondered when exactly they'd fallen asleep. He'd lied when he'd said it wasn't scary, for he'd been terrified of what Ed would do to him, but found he was justified when the boy took him to the bedroom and gently laid him down. He'd lied when he'd said it didn't make him nervous. He'd be anxious the whole time, knowing Ed could change his tune at any minute and he was powerless to do anything, tied both physically and emotionally by that point. But he'd been justified because Ed had kept him close and stayed true. Finally, he'd lied when he'd said it hadn't turned him on. He hadn't been justified at all. Just thinking about what had just happened made him want to wake the bastard up and return the favour. He snuggled a little closer in, not caring that he was acting like a girl, and eventually he'd need to get Ed to remove these cuffs so he could go find his jeans.

If Ed thought it funny to try and scare him on Halloween, maybe _he_ should try something for Guy Fawkes Night? He was the Flame Alchemist after all. He was sure he could think of something inventive to do for fireworks night.

"What are you thinking?" A groggy voice asked him, as the muscular teen sat up in bed and stared at his partner. Roy answered him with a smirk.

"How good you'd look when I fry your ass for thinking you can top me."

**Tada! A little something for xCastielsGirlx who thought it funny to say this lunch time 'will you write a Halloween fic?' **

**Yeah sure babe, I'll rattle off some crap when I get home. So, yeah. Only condition, RoyEd and Halloween. I said I'd write it so long as I could make Roy Uke! :P**

**If you're a fan of Uke!Roy then don't forget to check out 'Flush' for when I finally post that up… which will not be tonight. **

**Thanks anyway. Hope you like this Riza-baby! (I might do something like 'Things get BURNT on Guy Fawkes Night', if you're interested in that?)**


End file.
